What to Say (And Not Say) To Someone Who Has Lost a Spouse

If you have ever had a friend, coworker, or acquaintance that has had a spouse pass away, you have probably found yourself struggling with what to say to them. It is never easy knowing the right words, and while we want to express our sympathy, we are also fearful of saying the wrong thing. As providers of cremation services in Warman, SK we want you to know you are not alone as many people find this to be challenging. To help you in this situation, here are some things to say as well as those things to avoid. 

What You Should Say 

First, let’s talk about some of the things you can say. Whether this is in person or a sentiment you write on a card or with sympathy flowers, these sayings will help express your condolences in a thoughtful way. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” Although you may feel this phrase is too common and therefore not a good thing to say, that is simply not the case. This phrase if a common statement for a reason. It is short, simple and to the point. It allows you to express your condolences without going overboard and saying more than you need to. 

“I can’t imagine what you are going through.” - Everyone experiences grief differently. Even if you have lost a spouse, if is a different experience that what they are going through. Letting them know you understand this can go a long way in helping them know that it’s okay to experience their grief in their own way. 

“We share in your loss.”- This simple statement expresses your grief as well as helps your friend feel supported. With you sharing in this loss, it can bring them a sense of comfort in that they are not all alone in this grief. 

What You Should Avoid Saying 

While some of these statements may come from a good place in your heart, they simply do not provide the support or comfort that your friend needs at the time. Because of this, it is best to avoid saying things such as: 

“Everything happens for a reason.”- This can be a truly devasting statement to hear after someone losses a spouse. To say that everything happens for a reason means you believe their spouse had reason to pass away. Even if you did not intend for that to be the message, that is what they will most lily hear. 

“They are in a better place.” When someone losses a spouse, they often times will not agree that their spouse in a better place, as the better place would be here on earth with them. 

“You’ll feel better with time.” – Although dealing with grief can get easier over time, saying this negates what they are feeling and going through now. This does not provide them any support or comfort. 

Final Thoughts 

After someone losses a spouse, their life is going to look and feel very different. The best thing you can do for them is to just be there. Offer your condolences and take your cue from them. If they wish to open up and talk, let them. If they seem as if they are not quite ready to talk, don’t push them. 

As providers of cremation services in Warman, SK, we know it can be challenging finding the right words to say. We hope this article has helped and of course if you need anything further, we are always available for you. Don't hesitate to contact the professionals at Martens Warman Funeral Home, LTD.